


Days of Solitude

by CrazyNekoChan



Series: Days of Despair [3]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Neo World Program (Dangan Ronpa), Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-21
Updated: 2018-10-21
Packaged: 2019-08-05 07:52:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16363862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrazyNekoChan/pseuds/CrazyNekoChan
Summary: Gundham's life was beyond perfect. He shared every day with his close allies and his loyal hellish beasts in the light of the gracious sun and at the end of the day he returned to his welcoming home where he was already awaited with a loving smile. He was feeling immense happiness and joy about his simple, yet fulfilling life within the mortal realm.So he could not help but wonder why he felt like something was off about his perfect life.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story plays before "First Day of Hope"

The newest day was what one would call perfect. The goddess of the sun had gifted the mortal realm with her warming light that gave life and guided the mortals throughout their daily lives. The sky was deprived of darkening clouds and the nature looked utmost inviting to explore. All in all it was a truly pleasant morning that made Gundham's mood be in a positive nature from the moment he had opened his eyes.

After cleaning and dressing himself, and consuming his first meal of the day – which was not as unpleasant in its taste as for late, which pleased him – Gundham took his bag, which was filled with all the essentials for his upcoming day within the realm of learning, and stepped towards the main door of his realm, his trusted Four Dark Devas of Destruction sitting atop of his shoulders.

Just as he was about to press down the handle and open the door to exit, a sweet and melodic voice called out towards him. “Have fun today, my dear.”

Turning around Gundham was greeted by the sight of a beautiful woman, who was smiling lovingly at him and made him smile in return. “You have my thanks and I wish you the same enjoyment on this day.” When the woman walked up towards him, her silky black hair swaying with every step, Gundham leaned down towards her with a smile and he felt a gentle kiss being placed onto his own raven black hair, which was a perfect mirror of hers.

“I will see you later then. I love you, my dear”

Smiling, Gundham kissed her on her cheek. “I love you too, mother.”

Having received a blessing from the caring angel, Gundham felt ready to face the world and all the challenges it would bring on this day. Saying his last goodbye to the Angel, Gundham then opened the door and left their house, going into the warming sun on this picture perfect day.

 

Walking down the road, enjoying the sounds of nature which was currently fully undisturbed due to a momentary lack of vehicles, Gundham saw mortal figures ahead, which both had stopped when they also spotted him. One of these mortals raised her hand and waved, “Good morning, Gundham.”

Walking up towards them, Gundham nodded at the She-Cat who had greeted him and then towards the Lucky One who had been accompanying her. “I also wish you two mortals a pleasant morning.”

“What good fortune that I not only meet one ultimate on my way to school, but two. I can only imagine the dread that will befall this place soon.” the Lucky One gave a carefree smile, despite the ominous words that he had uttered.

Not reacting much to her classmates wording, as she had been used to it by now, Sonia smiled, “Shall we go to school together?” Feeling joyous at the prospect of spending time with his close allies before they would have to follow their duties, Gundham nodded at the suggestion and so the group kept on walking towards their shared destination, Hope's Peak Academy.

 

The enormous building never failed to make every mortal feel awe the moment one would glance upon it and even the great Gundham Tanaka was no different. Just the mere look at it made his icy heart feel almost tight with awe and respect he felt towards this sacred realm, like it was an esteemed and dignified ruler to which he bowed down to. Feeling pride at being one of the chosen students that had the honour of attending this exceptional realm of learning, Gundham entered together with his allies. Passing many of his comrades that also prided themselves as students of Hope's Peak Academy and greeting the occasional ones that he had been closer to, the three comrades went towards their classroom and were happily greeted by their classmates upon entering.

Just like he had expected the more diligent mortals were already present.

“Good morning you three.” Koizumi smiled at them in a pleasant manner, at which Nanami, their class representative, raised her head from the video game she had been playing and waved with a tired yawn, “Morning.”

“Wow, Nagito actually managed to get to school without nearly killing himself. That's new.” Kuzuryu commented with a sarcastic manner, as the Lucky One did tend to harm himself while doing the most mundane things, including walking down the street. As the two mortals were close allies, Komaeda took the comment as the friendly teasing that it had been meant to be and gave a carefree laugh as he went towards the heir.

The only mortal that uttered no words and used a simple wave as a greeting, was Pekoyama, who had been sitting next to her ally from childhood, as she did every day anew.

Gundham and the Princess of Darkness both went towards their assigned seats which happened to be next to each other and were engaged in a conversation about the dark arts, an interest and skill they both shared. Just as they had taken a seat more of their comrades entered the room, the first two being Saionji and Tsumiki, while the prior was teasing the latter in what one could call a cruel manner, if they did not know the two friends close enough. Both female mortals were closely followed by Nidai, who was also one of Gundham's closest allies and preferred sparring partner for battle. All three mortals gave them a warm greeting, all in various degrees of loudness and intensity, the Stuttering One being the most silent, while the Trainer of Warriors was close to shouting.

As more minutes have passed more students entered, the first ones being a cheering Owari who was shortly followed by Mioda who was short of breath after what Gundham suspected had been a race between the two energetic mortals. While the Athletic One had been too busy with cheering about her victory, the Loud One gave an excited greeting, despite her current lack of breath. Before the two females were able move from the door, Hanamura arrived with a request to be left past, which sadly did have a hint of perversion in his wording and thus earned him a hesitant yet clear warning to cease this behaviour by Mitarai who was accompanying him.

Just as all the students took a seat, the door opened a final time and Miss Yukizome stepped into the class, a joyous expression on her features as she look upon her students. “Good morning you all, I hope you all arrived well today.” she clasped her hands together with delight and scanned the many faces in front of her, “It seems like no one is missing, so let's begin today's lesson.”

Without thinking much about it, Gundham's eyes also wandered throughout the class, nodding hardly noticeable at the statement of their teacher. All of his comrades were present without fail just like every day, as one would expect of the many students of class 77 B who all showed pride at their duties as students of this prized realm.

 

After finishing his day within the Realm of Learning, Gundham had spend the rest of his spare time with his allies within the vast town, exploring what it had to offer to them on this day, and after this they had moved towards the outskirts at the border towards the deep forests that surrounded the town in which they lived, enjoying the peace and solitude it offered to the students. Lying in the soft grass with his trusted Dark Devas of Destruction resting upon him, Gundham looked up towards the slowly reddening sky as the sun slowly began sinking and gave room for the silent night and the gentle moon.

Deciding together that it was time to return home, the allies all gathered up their belonging and left the forest, walking back into town to where they all lived. While passing a empty train station, Gundham had been able to see the never ending horizon that was shining with burning colours, like it was a painting, and his heart felt at ease at the calming display before him. This was truly a perfect life.

When the allies had arrived in the middle of their peaceful town, they all said their goodbyes for the day and went their separate ways towards their homes, just as Gundham himself did. Upon entering his realm which he was sharing the his mother, the Angel, said mortal had happily walked up towards him and placed a loving kiss upon his face, “Welcome back, Gundham. Did you have a fun day with your friends?”

“I did have a pleasant day, thank you for asking.” Gundham replied and hugged his mother, who looked up towards him with her caring dark eyes, filling him with the warmth that only a loving mother could gift to her child.

“I am so happy to hear that.” she hugged him back, “Come, dinner is ready so let us eat together and you can tell me everything you and your friends did today.” Taking her son by the hand, she lead him into their kitchen, where they both shared her cooked meal – which was again surprisingly tasty for Gundham, despite the odd discolourment – and the Angel continued to smile warmly while Gundham was sharing what he and his friends had been doing that day with joy and excitement.

 

Later that evening, after Gundham and his mother had cleaned up their used plates they had used for their shared meal, Gundham was sitting in his room, enjoying the silence as he looked outside of his window, glancing at the perfect starry sky above him. Again he felt at perfect ease at the sight of the silent dark sky and the empty streets below, deprived of disturbances from loud vehicles and boisterous mortals.

Gundham was truly happy as he closed the blinds of his window and went to bed to rest for the endless night.

 

The following days were in the same perfect fashion. Gundham would spend his morning with the Angel, before leaving for his daily duties within the Realm of Learning, together with his allies, with whom he then shared his afternoons with and at the end of the day he would be greeted by his smiling mother at the door, talking to her about his life.

Day after day passed and Gundham enjoyed every moment of it. It was a perfect daily rhythm that he never wished to break. He loved the life he led and he would do everything to protect this never ending cycle of peaceful solitude.

Yet when he was one day walking to Hope's Peak Academy together with the She-Cat and the Lucky One, Gundham suddenly staggered in his steps and felt a cold dread overcome him like the icy hands of death himself had grabbed him at his spine for the shortest moments. Stopping in his tracks Gundham looked around, his eyes wide with uncertainty about what this momentarily grim sensation could have been.

“Is something wrong, Gundham?” the Princess of Darkness asked when she noticed how her friend had stopped walking and was looking around like he had seen an apparition.

Shaking his head for a moment to clear his mind again, Gundham turned towards his concerned allies, “It is nothing. I was simply imagining something it seems, as I guess that I am not as awake as I ought to be.”

His allies shared a short look of confusion, before turning back towards him with a carefree smile. “That happens to the best of us.” the Lucky One smiled, at which the She-Cat agreed to, “Yeah. It's nothing to worry about.”

Nodding at his allies, Gundham then continued his way together with them, the short moment of dread already forgotten.

At least until Gundham arrived at the Realm of Learning and their daily studies had begun. Everything was the same as always, yet when he scanned the room without thinking, he saw a vacant chair next to the Princess of Darkness which he had never noticed before.

Whose was it?

 

***

 

Lonely steps echoed throughout the empty hallway, which was the only sound that could be heard. No talking, no buzzing, no nothing. Just the slow steps from the mechanic who was exhausted after hours of work. Yet despite his tiredness, Kazuichi didn't stop and kept on walking down the long hallway until he arrived at a door. Opening it he entered the room with a smile on his face. “Hi everyone.”

Walking into the room, closing the door behind himself, Kazuichi walked up towards Gundham and gave a tired sight, “Damn, I'm tired.” he let himself fall down into a chair next to him, finally feeling some relieve from the pain in his feet after standing and walking around for hours on end, “Work was shit today. For some reason everything decided to break today and I had to repair it all again. If I didn't know better I would say that Nagito did something again. It also didn't help that Togami was constantly on my case and was nagging me to finish, like it would make me work faster.”

Leaning back, Kazuichi looked at Gundham with a weak smile. “But aside from that, what about you?” he asked him, “Are you dreaming something nice?” His smile turned slowly weaker with exhaustion until it was bitter and forced onto his face. “I hope so, because believe me, all these nightmares every night without break are shit, especially when there is no one next to you to who you can vent to. It makes it a bit lonely ya know?” Kazuichi kept on rambling to the other, as his eyes were starting to burn.

Yet no matter how much he talked, there was no reply. There never was one, so Kazuichi was simply sitting there in solitude next to his always sleeping lover, as only the cold, dead sounds of machines was filling the room around them and silent tears fell onto the glass of the coffin like pod.


	2. Chapter 2

No manner how many days had passed, the mysterious unused seat stayed vacant within the classroom while the students went on their day as if it were not even there. The questioning of its purpose was haunting Gundham, yet he could not even understand why this was. It was just a simple chair, a perfect copy of all the rest, yet it had this odd significance and aura as if it was not meant to be there, not in the state it was in now.

 

After wishing the angel a pleasant day and leaving towards the Realm of Learning, Gundham looked up towards the perfect blue sky. It was in the most brilliant blue and deprived of clouds like all the other days. No indication of darkness or rain, just the warm sun. It was a weather a mortal could only dream off.

Nearing his daily meeting point with his allies, Gundham lowered his gaze back to the peaceful road and away from the blue skies. However when he looked ahead, instead of seeing the two familiar faces of his trusted allies, he saw two identical blood red orbs for the shortest second and before he could even take a single breath they were gone from his field of vision like they had never been there. Looking around with dread, Gundham could not detect these unfamiliar orbs that had made his whole mortal form freeze up. What were they and why did they seem so utterly devastating to him that the mere second of them being there rendered Gundham fully immobile?

“Gundham?” the sudden concerned voice ripped him out of his trance like state and he quickly spun around, only to be faced with his allies who had managed to walk up towards him without his notice, something that was almost impossible to accomplish. The Princess of Darkness looked at him with concern, “You seem rather pale. Is something wrong?”

Opening his mouth to answer no words left Gundham, so he tried again, this time with success. “I thought that I might have seen something that was not there.”

The answer made his allies look at each other with confusion, however they then turned back towards him and smiled reassuringly. “Ah, that happens to me all the time.” the Lucky One gave a carefree smile, trying to reassure his ally, to which the Princess of Darkness agreed to, “Yeah. It was probably nothing, so don't worry.”

Concluding that his allies were most likely correct, Gundham gave a nod and they made their way towards the Realm of Learning like every day anew. Yet this unpleasant feeling remained all the way towards Hope's Peak Academy, the symbol of hope for the mortal realm that brought upon awe to all the living beings. All except Gundham on this day.

Unlike all the prior days the realm did not look inviting and was towering over him, casting its deep dark shadow upon him, like it was trying to swallow him up whole. Simply looking at the building made Gundham feel apprehensive and he stopped in his tracks at the thought of even entering. Something about this otherwise perfect day made him feel unease.

“Come on Gundham or we will be too late.” the hand of the She-Cat suddenly grabbed hold of his poisonous body, making him flinch as he did not like physical contact from other mortals aside from maybe the Angel and... That was it. No other mortal was allowed to touch his poisonous body, as it could destroy them. Yet he was still pulled into the Realm of Learning like nothing was amiss.

 

Walking into their classroom, all his allies had already been present as they were the last to arrive on that day. Being greeted by them all like on any other day, Gundham went towards his assigned seat next to the She-Cat, yet his eyes were on the still vacant seat on her other side.

Just as Gundham had taken a seat, the Mistress of Knowledge entered the room and after checking if all of her students were present, she began the day's lessons in her usually cheery fashion. Yet the seat remained empty despite her stating that every mortal was present and Gundham could not help wonder what its purpose was and who was intended to use it throughout the whole lesson.

As the hours had passed without much noteworthy happening, Gundham could not keep his concentration on the mundane things that the Mistress of Learning was trying to teach them and so he had given up for the day, as he did not see the worth in showing interest at that point. There had been no point in his mind. His thoughts had been occupied with the odd happenings within his otherwise perfect life within this realm. He had been so lost within his own mind, that he had nearly missed how the school day had ended and their allies were packing their things to leave. Hastily taking his belongings, he stood up and went to accompany his allies which were waiting for him. Yet he stopped and looked back at the ominous chair. Deciding that he should finally inform himself about it and its intended use, he turned towards his closest ally. “She-Cat, before we leave, I have a question to ask of you.”

Tilting her head to the side, she looked up towards him, “Yeah, what do you want to ask?”

Pointing towards the chair that had been haunting him, Gundham asked her, “Do you know if this vacant seat is in usage and if yes, which mortal is the current owner of it?”

Turning towards the mentioned seat, the Princess of Darkness gave a look of thought and after a few moments, she gave an unsatisfying answer. “The seat is used, yes. However I can not recall by whom, since I don't believe it to ever been used.”

So even the Princess of Darkness, who was always next to the vacant seat, had no recollection of any mortal actually using it. It was beyond odd and it made Gundham feel unwell, yet he could not bring himself to care too much. It was simply a seat without much reason, so he gave a short thanks to the princess and turned his attention towards his allies who had been waiting for him.

 

Again the students had spend their free time together within the sheltered town, before making their way towards the forest on the outskirts, which went on and on without an end in sight. Just a vast forest full of life and peace. A paradise for the many Hellish Beasts residing inside and the breeder who always had a deep connection towards the goddess of nature and her many warriors that protected her.

Lying in the soft grass together with his allies, Gundham felt at peace as he watched the blue skies above him. They all were silent, enjoying the moment that was free from any form of pain and guilt. It was simply perfect as he preferred it.

With closed eyes, Gundham enjoyed the solitude the comforting darkness brought him. His mind and heart felt at ease within his own thoughts. There was nothing to disturb it until he felt the same sudden body-numbing chill from before, making him widen his eyes and jump up, and for the shortest moment he had been sure that he had seen a person in the distance, watching them with burning eyes. The prior peace was suddenly ripped away from Gundham and his heart was beating in a frantic manner, making his breathing quicken and putting him on alert. Yet now that he had taken a good look the ominous dark figure had been gone, like a phantom that can not be seen directly by the mortal eye.

Gundham's sudden unease was not unnoticed by his allies, who all gave him a questioning and concerned look, while Gundham tried to see something, anything within the never ending forest. He hardly noticed how his allies were talking with each other until he noticed the Trainer of Warriors moving towards him, “Come, let's go home for today. I think you might need to rest and take a good shit.” Momentarily forgetting the phantom that he might have seen or not – and ignore the crude part of what his ally had said – Gundham nodded at Nidai and stood up. Rest might be a wise idea, as he had not been feeling at his best for the whole day. Maybe he had somehow managed to infect himself with some form of illness that was making him confused?

 

Walking home Gundham noticed the burning red skies that indicated the setting sun and beginning of the endless nights that granted mortals with the chance to rest and obtain new energy for the upcoming day. He was yet again at the train station that he and his allies passed every day anew, yet this time he noticed something that was off about this place. There had been nothing there. The occasional mortal had been awaiting a train, yet in all the times where Gundham had passed this realm, he had never seen or even heard any train. Looking around he also noticed that not a single vehicle was on the road. All the mortal were moving along by walking or with the usage of a bicycle, yet no car or motorbike was to be seen. Just why was this? There was no reason for such a busy town to not use motorised vehicles of any kind. So why did he not see any? Where were they all?

Holding his head in confusion, Gundham could not understand anything any more. Everything seemed off. It seemed like it had been missing something fundamental. Yet he had no idea what this could be.

Being lost in his own thoughts, Gundham's remaining journey back towards his realm was more due to him moving in an almost automatic manner. He did hardly register how he wished all of his allies a pleasant evening as they separated for the day. He only noticed how he had suddenly been alone, walking down the silent road in solitude with only the uncountable stars in the skies above companying him. Yet this night they felt far away and empty, like they had lost their shine. They were dull in his eyes, despite his love for the darkness and night.

There was no sound around him except of his own steps, one after the other. It was not odd, as he was alone on this empty road leading towards his private realm. However one of his trusted Devas suddenly poked his tiny head out of Gundham's sacred scarf, moving his ears to detect sound. This behaviour could only indicate one thing, so Gundham concentrated his scenes, trying to detect any sound within the darkness, preparing himself for the possibility of battle. He heard his steps, once, twice, thrice, going on an on. Yet between them he heard faint steps that were not his own. They were slightly off from his own movements, yet they seemed to be in the same speed as he was moving and they were behind him. Turning around, Gundham glared at whatever was behind him, yet he saw nothing. Just simple emptiness and solitude.

Maybe he had been again imagining it?

Keeping on walking, Gundham could still hear these steps following him, keeping up with his every movement, speeding up when he did and slowing down when he did, yet never approaching him and never showing themselves when Gundham turned and looked around, scanning the dark area for the source of the phantom steps. Feeling a deep and cold dread, Gundham quickened his pace until he finally arrived at his safe private realm he called his home.

 

Quickly pulling open the door, Gundham went inside into the warm light within and was directly greeted by the gentle and loving eyes of the Angel. “Gundham? You are back early.” she noted with the slightest surprise, before smiling with happiness, “But I am glad to have you home, so welcome back, my dear.”

Feeling at ease in an instant at seeing his mother, Gundham returned the gentle smile, “Thank you.” Here he was at ease and safe from the cruelty of the mortal realm and his own tricking mind.

Giving her son a kiss on his cheek in greeting, she smiled, “Dinner will be ready soon, so could you please prepare the table for me?” Agreeing to the request, Gundham took off his coat and went into the kitchen, setting the table for their upcoming meal that the Angel was preparing for them with love and care.

The food she was preparing smelled almost heavenly and it seemed as if his mother was now beginning to get better in her skill of preparing meals for her small family of two. Serving the food, the pair took a seat at the table and began eating. Finally Gundham's mind was back at ease now that he was back at his own home with his mother, who was with him every day, listening to him and caring for him in a way that only a loving mother could.

Taking a sip from her drink, she turned toward her son. “Say my dear, I have been wondering. Where is your little boyfriend?”

Chocking on his food from the sudden question, Gundham quickly took a drink to free his now tight throat from the burning. “W-What?” he felt his cheeks burning, “I have no idea of what you are talking about.” Gundham did not have a mate, as he was destined to walk his path within this realm alone, so he could not even begin to phantom of whom his mother was even talking about.

Giggling at her son's reaction, probably assuming he was mainly embarrassed and not utterly confused like he truly was, she smiled at him. “You know, £%€¥#@$#. I haven't seen him for a while.”

Gundham froze. What did his mother say? He had not understood the name of his supposed destined one, like it was not part of this realm. It did not sound like anything, not even like sound. It was something like a static noise that he could not describe and he did not know how to react to it, so he was simply staring while the Angel was smiling like nothing was amiss. Just smiling without any change. A smile that was unbreakable and perfect, that always made his heart fill with a loving warmth that he never wanted to miss. Yet this smile made him feel a chill at how perfect it was. It was almost too perfect to be true.

Again he was feeling this unexplainable unease. He needed rest.

“Mother I am sorry. I am not feeling so well today, so I will retreat to my room for the night.” Gundham stood up from his seat, his food hardly touched by him.

Looking at him with genuine concern, the Angel gave a nod. “Okay my dear. You go lie down while I clean up here.”

 

Gundham had to drag himself up the stairs that lead to his room. He felt exhausted beyond believe and his mortal form felt heavy. He must have truly infect himself with something and now this disease was slowly holding him in his unforgiving grasp. As soon as he arrived in his room, he let himself fall onto his bed, hardly finding the strength to move. This was unlike him, yet his heart felt too heavy for him to muster up much energy. Using the last bit of energy he had left, Gundham pulled up his blanket, covering his mortal form, yet he still felt this unease that was eating away at his mind.

He needed something, anything against this voice in his head, telling him about all the unnatural things on this day; the things that had been missing and should be there, and the figures that were present and should not be part of this all. He needed someone.

Gently the door to his dark room opened, filling it with warm light and Gundham saw the Angel walk in with quiet steps. Walking up next to the bed, she took a seat on the edge and placed her warm hand on his forehead, checking for fever, before gently petting his raven hair in a comforting manner and it felt like she was tenderly brushing away all the dark shadows within his mind. “Did something happen, my dear?” she asked with a caring voice filled with warm and love, “You can tell me anything, I won't judge you.”

Finally finding his strength to move himself, Gundham turned to look at his mother and for the first time that day he smiled with joy as he was embraced by the security his loving mother gave him. “It is nothing if I think about it now. I was simply imagining something that has been making my mind at unease.”

“Imagining something?” she asked, her voice just as gentle as ever, “What did you imagine?”

“A dark figure, like a shadow, with blood red eyes.” he answered, yet now he did not feel fright at the thought of that phantom. It was nothing to worry about.

“Now this does sound unpleasant and I can understand why you felt unwell because of it. If I would see something like this, I would also feel on edge.” the Angel stated with understanding, before smiling reassuringly at her son, “But don't worry, whatever this was I will protect you from it, my dear. So you can rest now and leave it all to me.” Usually Gundham would pledge to protect her as he always did, yet today he would let her take the reins and let her protect her son like the loving and caring mother that she was. She truly was a perfect angel and she was someone Gundham would never want to live without.

Closing his eyes with a content smile, Gundham felt a gentle kiss placed upon his forehead before his beloved mother stood up again and, after wishing her son a goodnight, silently left the room again.

 

Finally Gundham was feeling at peace and his body and mind were now at ease. He was within perfect solitude were nothing was amiss. It was simply him alone in his peaceful room that was filled with the always comforting darkness of the night.

“When will you stop lying to yourself?”

His eyes widened within an instant and Gundham's body jolted up, starting towards the source of the unfamiliar voice. There, in the middle of his room within the darkness, stood a person who was illuminated by the brilliant moon. Gundham's whole body froze as he was face to face with the burning red eyes that rendered him immobile, keeping him at bay.

“Do you think keeping up this lie will make anything forgiven?” the person asked and stared at him with an unreadable expression, “Make your sins go away?” Gundham tried to answer, yet no words left him, no matter how much he tried.

When the person then continued talking, Gundham felt a deadly cold run throughout his spine, making his heart drop, “Do you really think erasing _him_ will make all your abuse towards _him_ be forgiven like it never happened? Like it would change anything?”

'Him'? Who was 'Him'? Gundham had no idea, yet he felt the utmost despair at just hearing this word. His head felt like bursting apart and he wanted to puke, yet he did not know why. Tears were forming in the corners of his eyes, without any reason as for why. Who was 'Him' and why did it hurt him so much? Who did he erase?

Parting his lips, Gundham's voice was weaker than ever before, hardly making any sound, “W-What?”

“Do you still not understand?” the person with the burning eyes asked, “Can you really not remember everything you did? All the despair you brought to the world and destroying it? Is you subconscious fighting so hard to not remember any of it?”

No word that this being, this demon uttered had made any sense to Gundham, yet every word hurt more and more, making his chest feel tight and every breath burn like the fires of hell itself. Gundham had not even noticed that he had started to hyperventilate.

The red eyed demon walked up towards Gundham, yet he did not touch him and only looked down towards him with pity, “You need to face the truth if you want to see _him_ again, or you will be stuck in this lie forever without ever waking up.”

Waking up? From what? And for whom? Who was 'Him'?

“The more you are keeping this up, the more you are destroying everything.” the demon said with an almost sad voice, “Yet you still keep up pretending that you did nothing wrong. Just erasing everything that makes you remember what you have done. All the lives you took and all the people you tortured and hurt. Just making every disappear together with your guilt.”

Gundham shook his head in a useless attempt to defend himself from the accusations.

“No? Are you telling me you didn't kill people? Or that you didn't erase _him_ just to feel better about yourself? Just how long will you keep on lying?” the demon furrowed his brows, making him seem angry and disgusted with the other, “Just how weak are you?”

Finally Gundham found his voice again, snapping at the red eyes stranger, “I am not weak!”

“Really?” the demon raised an eyebrow, “Well you were weak enough to fall into despair like all the rest did and you were weak enough to just go the cowardly way and kill yourself, leaving all the others behind.”

“No!” Gundham snapped, his eyes glaring at the demon, “I sacrificed myself so that _he_ and the others could survive this hellish place!” Suddenly Gundham felt silent. What was he talking about? What sacrifice was he talking about and what hellish place did he mention? He could not recall and nothing made sense. His mind was a whiling pit of screaming thoughts that clouded his mind, drowning his reasoning and senses within the despairing sounds, making him shiver and tremble.

“And the rest?” the demon asked, “The rest you did out of selfish reasons. All the crimes were just for your own fun. All the pain you brought upon the world was just for the thrill and all the agony you made _him_ feel was out of your own sadistic pleasure.”

“N-No!” Gundham's voice was shaking and he felt like his heart was constricting, making every breath turn into pure agony for him.

“Yes, stop denying it.”

“No! I love him!” Gundham shouted with despair in his voice. He did, he never wanted to hurt him! It was not his fault!

The demon looked unimpressed at the other's outbreak. “You say that, yet your guilt erased him from this lie so that you don't have to feel bad about yourself. Stop denying it.” Gundham was just about to open his mouth to deny the accusation, when the demon continued, making any word of him vanish into the abyss. “You say that, yet you can't even say his name.” With an unreadable expressing the demon turned his burning red eyes to the side, Gundham following them and for a final time his body felt like it had been dumped into ice and left to drown within the everlasting darkness within.

In the farthest and darkest corner of his room stood another person with brightly coloured hair, who didn't move; just standing there and judging him. Within the darkness Gundham could not see their face and what they were thinking. He had no idea who this mortal was yet the sight of him made Gundham feel an agonising pain like a burning knife had been rammed into his body and was twisting itself deeper and deeper without mercy. Hot tears were running down Gundham's face and he could not muster up the strength to stop them or even wipe them away. Something within his soul was telling him that he did not deserve any form of comfort. He deserved this pain and guilt that was eating him alive.

Stretching out his shacking hand, Gundham tried to reach the far away figure, failing and falling to the cold, hard ground beneath. The faceless figure did not flinch when the despaired mortal fell and shivered with guilt. It was all his fault. He did this. He did this all to him and this was his price to pay.

The demon was simply watching Gundham with pity, neither helping him nor stopping him at his attempt to reach the far away figure of the person whose name he could not remember.

It was his fault, it was all his fault. He did the most grotesque things and now he had to pay for his sins within this abyss. This was not a perfect life, it was a perfect lie he had dreamed up. Nothing was real and Gundham finally had realised it. This world was unreal and the reality was cruel and unforgiving.

 

Suddenly the door to his room opened, filling the dark abyss with warm light as the Angel was looking at him with concern and fright. “Gundham my dear, what is wrong?” she asked and kneeled down to the floor to be on eye-level with her son.

The sight of her loving eyes made him tremble more and he grabbed his hair, pulling and ripping on them. Two worlds were clashing onto each other, the dark world where he had sinned and left _him_ behind and the warm light in which he shared his life with the loving Angel whom he adored so much.

“What will you do?” the demon asked, his voice breaking the silence and gaining Gundham's full attention, “Will you finally accept what you did and atone for your crimes or will you keep on lying to yourself like a coward and keep up this dream?”

Gundham was torn, his head turning back and forth between his loving and caring mother and the distant and cold figure within the dark corner.

This was beyond cruel and the perfect punishment for his unforgivable sins. He was faced with the decision between the perfect dream-world where his mother was alive and every day was filled with warmth, and the cruel reality where _he_ was awaiting him in the middle of the world they had destroyed together.

More tears fell and Gundham's vision was blurry. He could not see, he could not think. Everything within him was screaming for something, yet he understood nothing. All was a lie, all was cruel. He could not decide.

His eyes went between the two worlds. He had to chose, he could not keep on with this torture any longer.

Slowly getting up on shacking legs, Gundham started walking.

“So this is your answer?” the demon asked as his burning eyes followed the trembling mortal move weakly.

Every step felt like his last and Gundham was sure that he would collapse soon. Just as his legs were about to give out under him, warm hands caught him in their gentle embrace.

“Don't worry my dear, I have got you.” the Angel said with the most gentle voice, holding her son close. “You are save here.”

“I know...” Gundham was still trembling and his eyes were burning, “Which is why I am so sorry. I'm so sorry for what I did... I'm sorry... I'm sorry.” he kept on apologising like a lost child. He was sorry and he could never earn her forgiveness for all the cruelty he brought. “I'm sorry mother. I'm sorry for leaving you...”

A gentle kiss was placed upon his forehead, filling him with warmth. “It is okay my sweet child. I love you Gundham, no matter what you did and I know that he does to, so you can go now.”

Shacking and trembling, Gundham gave his beloved mother a final hug, feeling her loving warmth for the last time in his life, before letting her go forever and turning her back towards her, walking away and leaving her and this perfect lie behind himself as it was all swallowed up by the abyss with every step he took until nothing remained except himself, the red eyed demon and _him_ , who greeted him with a smile.

 

***

 

Everything was filled with a pristine white, blinding Gundham and before he could even register where he was or what had happened, he felt a sudden weight atop of his mortal form, clinging onto him like their life depended upon it and sobbing loudly for some reason he could not phantom.

Looking down, Gundham saw a familiar set of pink hair. “Tamer of Automations?” he asked and felt a slight surprise about how weak his own voice sounded. “What are you doing...?”

“You are alive!” the Sharp Toothed One kept on sobbing into his chest. Yet Gundham was only filled with confusion. Of course he was alive, why should he not be? “What are you talking about?” Though he did notice that his mortal form was in agonising pain for some reason. “Now get off me Sharp Toothed One, my mortal form is hurting all over for some particular reason and you are only worsening it.” What was this pain?

“Ah, sorry!” the Pink Haired One quickly moved his body off Gundham's own, while more tears were falling. “Ya are really alive...”

Gundham could not understand what was going on. His mind was all over the place as it tried to piece together where he was, what had happened and why the mortal was crying. “What is going on here? And why are you crying, Tamer of Auto-” suddenly a blinding pain filled his head, making him feel like his skull was about to split as images were flashing before his eyes. Images depicting his life within Hope's Peak Academy, his relationship with Kazuichi and their fall into despair. He also remembered the Neo World Program, his sacrifice and the dream within he had been living as he had been in a state of limbo.

“Gundham!” Kazuichi looked shocked and concerned about his lover's pain. “Are you okay?” he asked with uncertainty.

Not being able to stop himself, Gundham ignored the insignificant pain he was feeling and wound his arms tightly around his paramour, pulling him into a close embrace, never intending to let go for as long as he lived.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always had been wondering how the dream worlds of the other characters were like, so it was interesting finally writing about it
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoyed my attempt at angst (if you can even call it that)
> 
> Edit: I just happened to actually look at the word count, and I was a little shocked about the number since I wrote and edited this whole thing within a day. I'm a bit impressed about myself


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